Is it okay for my bridesmaids to wear heels at my beach wedding?
clairealton asked:
I have decided on a beach wedding in the Hawaii for my upcoming wedding. However for all my life I have had a picture of what I want for my wedding. Even though the wedding is technically less formal, I want each person in the wedding party formally dressed. I plan to wear white stockings with three inch open toed sandals.
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I have decided on a beach wedding in the Hawaii for my upcoming wedding. However for all my life I have had a picture of what I want for my wedding. Even though the wedding is technically less formal, I want each person in the wedding party formally dressed. I plan to wear white stockings with three inch open toed sandals.
I know this may be uncomfortable but I want each of the bridesmaids to wear matching wine colored open toed heels with **** pantyhose.
Several of the girls have complained, but the dresses are knee length and I want the pictures and rest of the evening to be perfect. Am I asking too much?
December 21st, 2008 at 4:40 am
its YOUR wedding…so therefore you have every right to put them in what YOU want…if they have agreed to be in your wedding they should know that its the brides day…and every detail is your decision…I dont think you are asking too much at all.
…seriously either some of these people have not gotten married yet or didnt have their dream wedding so are telling you to compromise what you want….if you decide to have them not wear them, thats your choice…but your question is if it is asking too much…and I still say NO…when its your day you should have what you want…so I think some of these people have just not had their dream wedding or they dont realize how special your wedding is….
December 21st, 2008 at 10:44 pm
No. it’s your wedding. However think about it just in case you boil to an egg…enjoy.
December 24th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Unless there is a platform and a reinforced runner you may be asking a lot for all of you. Walking in heels normally makes our feet redistribute weight as we are walking and it may make the shoes gets stuck in the sand. Not to mention you might all be unbearably hot in hose on the beach. Some shoes are necessary but three inch heels seems dangerous.
December 26th, 2008 at 2:34 am
Why don’t you ask your bridesmaids? And if they are okay with it and you want heels, then like low heels or wedges so that the stilettos don’t make them trip in the sand. Also make sure that they are not super-expensive, because the coming and going surf may ruin them, worst case scenario.
btw, Congratjulations!!
December 27th, 2008 at 3:28 am
Why not take the shoes off for the ceremony and put them back on when you’re ready to move back off the sand?
I have to say that I would NEVER ask anyone to do such a thing, and that I too would rebel, no matter how much I loved the bride.
What you are asking – in my humble opinion – is wayyyyy too much! If you want to wear your shoes in the sand and stumble and have blisters from the sand rubbing, that’s your prerogative…don’t make them suffer your fate.
December 29th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I had a similar wedding to yours. I kept it a bit more casual although I had an image in my head too. As the bride I think you have the right to have it organized the way you want. I think pantyhose might be excessive for a beach wedding, I would complain if a friend wanted that of me on a beach but otherwise everything sounds fine.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:35 pm
You have to keep in mind that wearing heels on the beach is gonna cause problems because the heel is going to keep sinking into the sand. It is probably also gonna be hot and hose are going to make them hotter. This is going to cause a lot of discomfort for you and for them and will likely cause more perspiration. You dont want your and their makeup all to be wiped off because they have to keep wiping off the perspiration. If you’re planning the wedding for a time of year when the weather is still cool that wont be too much of a problem.
January 1st, 2009 at 10:51 am
Heels are inappropriate for a beach wedding, I am afraid. First of all, you’ll appear very odd, but more importantly, everyone, including you, will have a very difficult time wearing high heels on sand. Many people can’t even wear 3″ heels on hard ground, never mind sand. Actually, everyone will have to stand on their toes during the entire thing-not a good idea.
I don’t mean to insult you, but part of being an adult is understanding we sometimes must adjust our dreams or accomodate reality.
I know people say it YOUR day, blah, blah, blah, but you must consider you asked these particular women to be your bridesmaids because you love them, and they accepted because they also love you–they are already doing quite a bit by even coming to Hawaii, and everything that is entailed with that. Please respect them and their wishes in this very small matter. To think that somehow your wedding won’t be all it could be because they aren’t wearing 3″ heels is just absurd.
January 1st, 2009 at 7:46 pm
no, their feet will get stuck in the sand, and sand will get in their shoes. yuck. no one wears hose anymore.
go hoseless and shoeless
January 4th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Yes you are asking too much.
For a beach wedding on the sand, you & your wedding party should be barefoot. Walking in the sand with shoes on will invite the sand into the shoes, thus making the wearer uncomfortable, irritable & whiny.
I hope your wedding party has the funds to fly to Hawaii to be with you. If not, move the location to a local beach. Or you’ll need to pay for everything, including hotel fees, rental cars & dining.
It’s hot & humid in Hawaii too. Pantyhose will make your bridesmaids & maid/matron of honor even hotter, despite the ocean breeze(s).
For the pictures, I can see wanting the formality of shoes. If the pictures are being taken on the beach before and/or after the wedding, then remain barefoot. If you’re having pictures done before being on the sand, then use the shoes. Your gift to your bridesmaids & maid/matron of honor could be pedicures the night before or the day of your wedding to ensure nice looking feet.
I’ve attended a few beach weddings. All but one insisted on shoes, even on the sand. Most people, me included, slipped off my shoes & wiggled my toes in the sand. Midway through that wedding, almost everyone was barefoot & the bride was furious at her guests, voicing her displeasure several times. Most of us no longer speak to her now.
If that’s your goal, then by all means, demand the above mentioned things at your wedding. See how many people complain & stay in touch after you get married.
January 8th, 2009 at 8:13 am
white stockings with open toed shoes? that’s a no-no, not to mention that stockings on a beach in hawaii is HOT. heels+sand is not a good mix. i know you want a certain thing, but do you want your friends to be uncomfortable? you’ll be uncomfortable too. as long as their legs are shaved, and maybe tanned, what’s the biggie? if they are uncomfortable, it’s going to show in their faces for the pictures.
January 10th, 2009 at 7:30 am
uhhh…yeah…I think you are asking too much.
Sure, this is your wedding….but it isn’t exactly simple to walk in sand, wearing heels.
Who cares that their dresses are knee-length?!?! Isn’t the whole point of the beach wedding for it to be a bit informal?!?!
Lots of people who get married on beaches have the whole formal wear, and go barefoot or in flip-flops. Yes, even the bride!!!
I think you are being a bridezilla. Especially if you are making THEM pay for these shoes that are just going to get ruined in sand!!!
January 12th, 2009 at 6:13 am
try sandals no stocking or go barefoot with small lei on your ankles I went to wedding in HI it was quite their custom
January 14th, 2009 at 6:49 am
no! just barefoot
January 17th, 2009 at 10:03 am
I normally would say it’s your wedding so do what you want. However, is the ceremony going to be in the sand? Are you and they going to have to actually walk/stand in the sand? If so, then you need to let them wear dressy flipflops/thong type shoes with a small, wide heel or barefoot. It really becomes a safety issue….I can just see one of them falling and twisting her ankle because it is impossible to walk in heels in the sand! If the ceremony ISN”T in the sand, then I say your way is perfect.
January 17th, 2009 at 10:27 am
If you’re talking about wedges, I’d say that should be fine. If you’re talking about the thin, stiletto-type heels, you might want to reconsider the logistics of having a bunch of girls walk in sand in heels. The heels will sink into the sand, and the girls will trip or at least have trouble walking. If your main concern is how everything looks, imagine how it will look to have your bridesmaids falling on their way down the aisle. Also, I’m fairly certain they’ll get sand in their pantyhose, and that’s going to make for some seriously uncomfortable bridesmaids. I’d say skip the pantyhose and give them all sunless tanner to make their legs look evenly tan, and find some wine-colored, open-toe wedges instead of regular heels.
I just got married 5 months ago, so I totally sympathize with wanting everything to look perfect… I’m just envisioning your bridesmaids sinking into the sand if they wear heels, and that would look way worse than them not wearing the shoes of your dreams.
January 18th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
have you ever tried walking in heels on sand, i mean in the long run its your day and you can do what you want, but think about if your bridesmaids will be comfortable as well
January 19th, 2009 at 12:20 am
maybe you could let them wear heels for the pictures. But honestly, heels in the sand is just horrific.Its hard enough to walk in heels, you add sand and you’re just asking for someone to fall halfway through the wedding. Good luck.
January 19th, 2009 at 10:55 am
You either need to revise the location or revise the footwear. You are definately bieng a bridezilla on this one. Besides how perfect are your pictures going to be if they are all of uncomfortable looking people fishing their shoes out of the sand and tripping? At least let them take the heels off for the sand portion. It will be impossible to walk and the shoes will fill with sand quickly because of the open toes. There are plenty of gorgeous flat shoes that would be much more suitable for walking in sand. You can always have them put the shoes on for the formal portraits, nobody is going to be concentrating on their feet during the ceremony. They will be looking at you.
If you insist on making them wear heels at the entire reception you should also be prepared to be the only one dancing too. I understand that you have a “dream wedding” picture, but is part of that dream bieng a bad party where everybody leaves early because they are uncomfortable and it goes down as the worst wedding they have ever been to?
January 22nd, 2009 at 10:56 am
Congrats on your upcoming wedding. And in Hawaii – WOW it will be beautiful.
My wedding ceremony is on the beach as well…in June…in Florida. What we have decided to do, because it’s so hard to walk in the sand with shoes (and hose, the sand gets in but hard to get out without taking them off), we have decided that for the ceremony everyone (including the guests) will be barefoot. After the ceremony the bridal party will get their pictures and what not, then we will all take a few minutes to clean off our feet and then put on our hose and shoes for the reception.
Hope that helps maybe.
Have fun!!
January 24th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
1. Open toe shoes and pantyhose do not go together…that looks aweful.
2. Sand and pantyhose do not mesh well either.
3. 3″ heels in sand? You are going to sink like a ship, or trip and ruin your dress.
4. Okay, unless you are footing the bill for them all to fly and stay in Hawaii I would give them a flipping break if they are ALL complaining about it. What about dressy sandals or flip flops for the beack, and they can change to the perfect dressy heels later. You are asking too much from them-sorry to tell ya, but that’s just my opinion.
January 26th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
I personally would never ask someone to wear stockings and heels at the beach unless they were going to be on a pier or platform. If you will be in the sand, it’s gonna get EVERYWHERE, including in your stockings and between your toes, which will be VERY uncomfortable! Plus, walking in sand with heels that high will be a nightmare. You will be sinking and I’d be willing to bet someone’s gonna fall. Instead of white stockings, go with no stockings at all. Sandals would be fine, just go with a shorter heel…maybe 1.5″ rather than 3″.
January 28th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Not at all! I think it is disgusting to see girls in formal attire, prom dresses, bride maids, and even wedding dresses with bare legs. My God, why put on a beautiful dress if you are not going to wear stockings? Bare legs are for shorts, sundresses, and bathing suits, not formal or business dress.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
If they are walking on sand it would be a hazard to walk in heels. Have them wear pretty flats instead.
January 31st, 2009 at 2:38 pm
I do not think that you should make the girls wear pantyhoes or heels. I mean think of the sand getting in the pantyhoes, and it will just look stupid wearing heels in the sand because they are just going to sink in. I went to a beach wedding this past summer and the bridesmaids didn’t wear any shoes and the groomsmen wore sandals, it was sooo cute! So I would vote for no shoes or less formal non heeled shoes for the actual wedding, and then they could wear your dream heels at the reception.
February 1st, 2009 at 4:56 pm
There might be issues with you and the girls walking on the beach (Very uneven ground), and I would not want someone falling down the asile, because that you make a terrible picture. What about if they wore the shoes for the pictures and walked barefoot on the beach. A beach wedding does sound really cool, Good Luck!
February 2nd, 2009 at 11:44 am
sure,but i suggest the bare feet,saves the sand in the shoes
February 2nd, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Its hard to walk with heels especially in the sand.